1. Bore you with cliche titles.

2. Be heteronormative.

3. Kvetch about the other (w/o permission and a lesson to be learned!)

4. Plug our really cool band.

5.  Diss other couples…. such as…. nah, we said we wouldn’t do it.

6. Promote anyone or anything unless it has a positive social, economic, and environmental impact.

7. Reveal anything we wouldn’t want our future children to read. No talk about piercings, fantasies, or deviant behavior here. Uh-uh. Not going to do it.

8. Wax on about our love for one another. We’ve got our respective journals for that.

9. Curse. It’s uncreative, not cathartic.